Should I Let My Child Play Esports With Their Friends?
Parents often worry about their kids spending too much time playing video games instead of studying, playing sports, spending time with their families, or socialising with their friends. Gaming addiction is always a concern when a child starts playing esports, but the games themselves offer numerous benefits to young people. So as long as it doesn’t become an addiction, this activity is actually one of the best hobbies that a young person can have. Here are some of the reasons.
Gaming Has Changed
The stereotype of the isolated gamer playing alone in a dark room is increasingly outdated. Modern esports has emerged as a social activity where teamwork, communication, and friendship are central. The 2024 NZ Esports Gamer Survey revealed some eye-opening statistics:
- 91% of young players reported that esports helped them build friendships
- 67% said playing esports made them more excited about going to school
- 65% noted that gaming skills helped them in academic subjects
Perhaps most surprisingly, the survey found that esports players in New Zealand tend to be more physically active than average adults – challenging the idea that gaming automatically leads to a sedentary lifestyle.
Social and Emotional Benefits
- Building Friendships and Social Skills
One of the greatest advantages of esports is the opportunity to develop meaningful connections. When children play team-based games, they learn essential social skills:
- Communication during high-pressure situations
- Working together toward common goals
- Supporting teammates through successes and failures
- Resolving conflicts constructively
- Many parents have noticed that online friendships formed through gaming often translate to stronger real-world relationships. Children develop a sense of belonging to a community based on shared interests and experiences.
- Boosting Confidence and Development
- For some children, especially those who might struggle with traditional sports or social situations, esports provides an alternative path to success. A parent from Manurewa High School shared how their previously withdrawn child flourished after joining the school’s esports club: “Before, he barely spoke in class and avoided group activities. Now he’s communicating confidently with teammates, developing strategies, and even stepping into leadership roles. The change has been remarkable.”
- This transformation isn’t unusual. The structured environment of esports, combined with supportive peer interactions, helps many children discover strengths they didn’t know they had.
Addressing Common Concerns
Despite these benefits, parents naturally worry about potential downsides.
Managing Screen Time and Physical Health
Balance is crucial. Here are some practical approaches:
- Set clear time limits for gaming sessions
- Encourage the 20:20:20 rule – every 20 minutes, look at something 20 metres away for 20 seconds to reduce eye strain
- Ensure your child gets at least 150 minutes of physical activity weekly
- Promote simple exercises that can be done at home: stretching, brief walks, or basic bodyweight exercises
Dealing With Online Behaviour
The online gaming environment can sometimes expose children to inappropriate language or behaviour. To address this:
- Maintain open conversations about what your child experiences online
- Teach them how to use in-game tools like muting, blocking and reporting
- Encourage them to play with known friends or in supervised environments
- Create an atmosphere where they feel comfortable telling you about problems
What NZ Research Shows
The 2024 NZ Esports Gamer Survey provides valuable insights into how gaming affects young Kiwis:
- 56% felt closer to teachers who supported their gaming interests
- 62% said esports helped them connect socially with others
- 54% reported increased confidence in other school activities
These figures suggest that esports can be a gateway to wider school engagement and better student-teacher relationships when properly supported.
Practical Guidelines for Parents
If you’re considering allowing your child to play esports with friends, here’s how to make it a positive experience:
- Set Clear Boundaries
- Establish specific time limits for gaming sessions
- Make sure gaming doesn’t interfere with homework, family time, or sleep
- Keep gaming devices in shared family spaces rather than bedrooms
- Use parental controls where appropriate
- Encourage Structured Play
- Look for supervised esports clubs at school or in the community
- Discuss appropriate online behaviour and digital citizenship
- Consider organised competitions with proper oversight
- Research age-appropriate games that emphasise teamwork
- Keep Communication Open
- Ask about their gaming experiences – who they play with and what they enjoy
- Watch them play occasionally to understand their interests
- Discuss any concerning behaviour they encounter online
- Be approachable if problems arise
- Promote Balance
- Encourage other activities alongside gaming
- Ensure regular physical activity is part of their routine
- Monitor academic performance to make sure gaming isn’t interfering
- Help them maintain face-to-face friendships in addition to online ones
Manurewa High School: Building Confidence and Community Through Esports
In a video produced by Manurewa High School, students and staff share how the school’s esports programme has positively impacted the school community. They highlight that participation in esports has enhanced students’ social skills, fostered new friendships, and increased engagement in school activities. Teachers observe that students involved in esports demonstrate improved communication abilities and greater confidence. The programme also provides a structured environment where students can develop teamwork and strategic thinking skills. Overall, the video illustrates that, when managed responsibly, esports can be a valuable tool for student development and community building.
Conclusion
The decision to let your child play esports with friends doesn’t have to be a yes-or-no choice. With thoughtful boundaries and ongoing communication, esports can be a valuable part of a balanced childhood that builds skills, confidence, and meaningful relationships.
The evidence from New Zealand schools suggests that when approached mindfully, esports can help children thrive socially and academically. By staying involved and setting appropriate guidelines, you can help your child enjoy the benefits of this modern form of play while minimising potential downsides.
Remember that your engagement and interest in their gaming world opens doors to deeper conversations and understanding. When parents take esports seriously as an activity that matters to their children, they create opportunities for connection rather than conflict.
References
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- Bavelier, D., Achtman, R. L., Mani, M., & Föcker, J. (2012). Neural bases of selective attention in action video game players. Vision Research, 61, 132–143.
- Gould, D., & Udry, E. (1994). Psychological skills for enhancing performance: Arousal regulation strategies. Medicine & Science in Sports & Exercise, 26(4), 478–485.
- New Zealand Esports Federation. (2023). NZ Esports x School Sport NZ.
- NHS. (2021). Exercise guidelines for adults.
- Przybylski, A. K. (2014). The impact of digital media on youth: Lessons from esports. Journal of Youth Studies, 17(5), 624–638.
- Sleep Foundation. (2023). How many hours of sleep does a teenager need?
- Vorderer, P., Klimmt, C., & Ritterfeld, U. (2004). Enjoyment: At the heart of media entertainment. In J. Bryant & D. Zillmann (Eds.), Media Effects: Advances in Theory and Research (2nd ed., pp. 692–724). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.
- Manurewa High School. (2024). High School League of Legends Clubs – Trailer [Video]. YouTube.
- 2024 NZ Esports Gamer Survey Infographic. (2024).